irony

A few weeks ago I agreed to help out with the American Heart Society's neighborhood pledge drive.  A week ago Friday I addressed notes to the neighbors on my street, asked them to make a small contribution for research, etc., and put them in the mail.  There was a heart-felt note tucked inside about a young woman who had a heart attack, and how she wants everyone to know how their contributions saved her life.

Last night, Caroline and I were shopping for reading glasses.  We were trying on funky frames, and I walked over to a sales rack to look at some jewelry that was on sale.  I started to feel really dizzy.  Dizzy like "oh shit, I'm going to pass out, and Caroline is going to freak - and I can't do that".  I willed myself to get her, check out, and drive home as calmly as I could.  My heart was racing, and I kept repeating to myself (in my head) "don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic"...

I never really noticed chest pains, per se, but about 30 minutes later my left arm felt like I'd been lifting weights (with just my left arm) for hours.  It was seriously work-out sore.  I put on my pajamas, wrote my girlfriends an e-mail asking if they knew any good cariologists, and went to bed.  Around 11:30 p.m. I had two girlfriends on a conference call phone me and tell me to IMMEDIATELY chew 4 baby aspirin.  Of course, I didn't have any baby aspirin, but I did have some women's calcium plus low-dose aspirin, which were pretty darn nasty to chew.  Today my left arm is still sore, but my heart isn't racing, and I managed to do a very low-key work out on the bike at the clubhouse.

Was it a "mini" heart attack?  Who knows.  I had a lot of the classic symptoms for a woman.  I've made an appointment with a cardiologist to get everything checked out.  I am afraid, but I need to know what's going on.  I'm slim, I work out, I don't smoke, and I eat a pretty healthy diet.  I do, however, have a family history of heart disease.  My gynecologist also told me I had an irregular heartbeat when I went in for my annual check-up, and he told me I should see a cardiologist.  This was July.  I thought I could get things back in order on my own.  You know, just do a few more miles on the bike.  Eat more salmon.  Whatever.

The point is - I try to take care of everyone, and have a tendency to neglect myself.  This was my wake up sign to get off my butt, and actually take care of myself.

I hope my neighbors pull through with the contributions.  I might be the one that needs them the most.